“My Cat Polly versus Donald Trump, Who would make the better president ????”

This post is exactly what it says it is. It’s a side by side comparison of My Cat Polly to Donald Trump to decide who would make the better president of the United States.

So. Let’s get started !!!

#1 My Cay Polly is cute !

Donald Trump, not so much !

#2 My Cat Polly is NOT A NAZI !

Donald Trump, Pretty much IS A NAZI !

#3 My Cat Polly had a hard life. She was born and lived out in the woods in the middle of nowhere till I adopted her. She knows what it’s like to struggle to get by !

Donald Trump was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had everything handed to him !

#4 My Cat Polly HATES RODENTS !

Donald Trump wears a rodent on his head!

#5 MY Cat Polly survived the cat / raccoon wars of 2012 and was awarded “The Shiny Medal”, The cat equivalent of the Medal Of Honor for saving 3 of her fellow kittens from the evil raccoons !!

Donald Trump never fought anywhere or sacrificed anything in his life and was GIVEN a Purple Heart by a veteran . A Purple Heart is given to any soldier who may have gotten wounded in combat, even if the wound occurred while running away and falling down and twisting his or her ankle !

#6 My Cat Polly likes all people, no matter what their color, religion or sexual preference might be. Specially if you feed her or rub her belly !!!

Donald Trump hates everyone who is not a WHITE, HETEROSEXUAL, CHRISTIAN, MALE . Even if they do feed him or rub his belly !

#7 My Cat Polly has never run a business into bankruptcy and is not driven by GREED  !!!

Donald Trump has run at least six businesses into bankruptcy, while not losing a penny of his own money because he IS driven by GREED . And he’s actually a terrible business man !

#8 My Cat Polly is basically KIND !!!

Donald Trump is MEAN !!!

#9 My Cat Polly would never build any wall tall enough that she couldn’t jump or climb over !

Donald Trump wants to build a giant wall between Mexico and the United States !

#10 My Cat Polly has never worn any clothing that was manufactured outside of the United States.

Donald Trump’s entire clothing line is produced in CHINA  !!!

#11 My Cat Polly would never fire nuclear weapons !

Donald Trump can’t wait to get the codes to our nuclear weapons so that he can NUKE THE MIDDLE EAST !!!!

#12 My Cat Polly will make sure this country remains friends with the rest of the world !

Donald Trump will isolate this country from the rest of the world and make all the other countries hate us !

#13 My Cat Polly loves babies and would never yell at one and have it removed from one of her rallies just because it was crying !

Donald Trump hates crying babies !!!

#14 My Cat Polly doesn’t LIE. If she says she’s hungry, you can be sure she is hungry !

Donald Trump ALWAYS LIES  !!!!

#15 My Cat Polly is loyal and does not have a big ego !

Donald Trump cares only about himself and has a gigantic ego !

#16 My Cat Polly has been spayed and can never reproduce. She will never add to the problem of overpopulation.

Donald Trump can reproduce and SHOULD be neutered so that his blood line ends as soon as possible !!!

There you have it.

My Cat Polly is obviously the better candidate for president than Donald Trump.

And if a CAT can be a better candidate, imagine how much better a WOMAN, like Hillary Clinton would be.

I rest my case.

Thank you for your time and please take the time to leave a comment !!!

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” Death By Comunication ” !!!

Hello out there all of my followers. And there are more of you than you might think. It’s been quite a while since my last post. And I’m sure you’ve been biting your finger nails just wondering when I would be back and what I would come up with next. Well your prayers have been answered. The waiting is over. I’M BACK !!!!!

Now. If you’re at all familiar with my writings, then you know by now that I’m a pretty crazy, paranoid old man. And this piece should not do anything to change anyone’s mind about that.

So. Let’s get started.

The subject of my latest rant has been buzzing around in my head for quite some time now and has grown from a small idea to a full blown theory !!! And that subject is MICROWAVES and how they might be effecting not just our environment but also our behavior as human beings.

Originally, years ago, when all the talk about global warming ( climate change ) started to HEAT UP, I mentioned to someone much smarter than myself who will remain nameless ( starts with Ch and ends with arles ) that perhaps microwaves had a large role in the rise of temperatures around the globe. After all, microwaves are everywhere. And what is one thing we know about microwaves ???? THEY COOK THINGS !!!! So maybe they are cooking the planet. But my much smarter friend assured me that they don’t work that way. But what if my smart friend is wrong ? What if we don’t know everything about what microwaves are capable of ?

And then I started thinking that maybe this is just the tip of the microwave iceberg, if there are indeed any icebergs left ? What if microwaves can actually effect our behavior or even effect our physical and mental health. I mean there are always studies on whether cell phones might have an adverse effect on peoples brains. It seems for every study that says they have no effect there are just as many studies that say they might.

And I’m not really big on conspiracy theories, well not since my drug days in the 70’s anyway, but is there really anything that the powers that be would want to cover up more than the fact that microwaves are BAD !!! I mean, all of our communication relies on microwave technology ! Cell phones, TV, satellite radio, they all rely on microwaves. So if it came out that microwaves WERE harmful and we had to stop using them we would be thrown back into the dark ages as far as communications are concerned. And no government or large corporation is going to stand for that. So they just might be covering something up.

Maybe all these microwaves are effecting our moods. Making people more aggravated, violent or depressed. Just think. We have always had the occasional serial killer but we never really had all these mass murders until the last 10 or 15 years. Just about the time cell phones became the norm. Maybe microwaves are aggravating people and causing them to act out violently. Even terrorism has escalated since about that time. And people are starting to die younger. Cancer is everywhere these days. Everyone knows someone who has or had cancer. Has anyone ever studied the effects of microwaves on cancer cells ? Not only if they cause cancer but maybe they have the effect of accelerating the growth or movement of cancer cells.

And I’ve always been somewhat crazy but over the last 10 or 12 years I seem to have gotten a lot worse. I’m depressed, have anxiety attacks and have the attention span of a cat due to my ADHD. I take enough medication every day to chill a cheetah !!!  Oh ! Look ! Something shiny !!!. What was I talking about ? Oh yeah. It seems that the intensity of all of my crazy symptoms have gotten extremely worse since about the time cell phones started showing up everywhere. It’s also about the time I got my first cell phone myself. Coincidence ? I wonder !!!

Think about it. Every day we are all bombarded with microwaves. They are everywhere . They must be doing something. Look what they do to POP CORN !!!! Why else would they tell us to turn our cell phones off in hospitals or doctors offices?  And why do they tell people with pacemakers to stay away from microwave ovens ?

Now chances are that my super smart friend is right and I’m just crazy and paranoid without the help of microwaves. But what if I’m right ???? Think about it !!!!!

As always, thanks for visiting and reading my site and please feel free to leave a comment…. that is if you’re not feeling just a bit CRAZY !!!!!!

 

 

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“Dead and Company” FINALLY get it right !!!

Well it’s been almost exactly 5 years since I wrote my post about the Grateful Dead touring under the name “Further” and a lot has changed since then. There have been many iterations of the band. Either solo projects such as “Phil and Friends” or Bob Weir’s “RatDog” or group projects leading up to what were supposed to be the final shows featuring the 4 remaining original members of The Grateful Dead. Bob, Phil, Mickey and Bill. Calling the tour the “Fare Thee Well” tour, the “core 4 ” were joined by Trey Anastasio  on guitar and vocals, Bruce Hornsby on piano and vocals and Jeff Chimenti on various keyboards and vocals.

I have heard 4 of the 5 shows from that tour and even though they were good, they left me feeling it was time to put the band to sleep once and for all !!!

Now all of a sudden the band is back again under the name “Dead And Company”. This time the band is stripped down a bit. Most notably, Phil Lesh is gone. Also gone are Trey Anastasio and Bruce Hornsby. So this time around the band consists of Bob Weir on rhythm guitar, lead and background vocals, Bill Kreutzmann and Mickey Hart on drums and percussion, Jeff Chimenti on all keyboards and background vocals and new members Oteil Burbridge on Bass and backround vocals and John Mayer on lead guitar, lead and background vocals.

Well to my surprise, this new lineup has injected new life into what seemed like a washed up band. It seems the changes all work.

First of all, I find myself not missing Phil at all. In fact, I’m glad I don’t have to listen to his awful vocals anymore. And let’s face it, he hasn’t been the same bass player since switching from 4 to 6 string bass. There is something to be said about the way a players approach or style changes when changing from 4 to 6 strings. Phil started to sound more like a guitarist playing in a low register than a real bass player.

In fact I think this band sounds better with Oteil on bass. Whereas Phil was never really known for anchoring the bottom of a song, he was more known for his ability to jam, Otiel is great at slipping into the groove and thereby bringing the whole rhythm section along with him. This was evident on songs like “They Love Each Other”, Loose Lucy” and “Sugaree”. In fact I never cared for the song “Loose Lucy” live before but this band made it burn !!! In a sense, on songs like these, the band comes across sounding more like the Jerry Garcia Band than The Dead. And to me, this is a good thing. And that’s not to say Oteil can’t jam. He is one of the better jamming bass players out there today and easily glided from song to song.

And then there is Jeff Chimenty taking over all of the keyboard duties. Again a great decision. In my opinion, Bruce Hornsby always overplayed on the piano and didn’t seem to fit in with the bands sound. And his vocals were nothing to be impressed by. He was just another bad singer in a band already full of bad singers. While Jeff Chimenti is probably the best fitting keyboard player the band has had since Keith Godchaux, if not the best they have ever had. He fits in seamlessly and adds decent backing vocals.

But the biggest addition and surprise here is the job John Mayer does playing lead guitar and adding some sorely needed lead vocal help. He’s probably the only member of the band who can actually sing. And where Trey Anastasio did his best to fill in for Garcia, his playing is more one dimensional coming from a jam band background and sounding like a dozen other jam band guitarists. While as much as I hate to say it, John Mayer can easily play many guitar styles after, dare I say it, prostituting his talents for many years. But in so doing, he actually has been influenced by many of the same styles that Jerry Garcia was influenced by. Specially the BLUES. Jerry was very much influenced by the blues. While Trey had no trace of blues in his playing, so when John Mayer plays like Garcia it doesn’t sound forced or like he’s trying to copy Jerry. It flows naturally. It sounds like he’s taken Jerry’s style and made it his own. And the man can jam. The jam in the middle of “St. Steven” will take you back to the early 70’s when, in my opinion, The Dead were at their peak.

And the other big plus with John Mayer is that the guys let him do A LOT of lead vocals. On Jerry’s songs his vocals add a very soulful touch. Yes. The man can sing. His singing and playing on the encore of “Brokedown Palace” are spot on. PERFECT !!!

Now there were a few mistakes. Even funny ones like when Bob Weir sang the first word to “Dark Star” and his voice totally broke up. So much so that he and the whole audience let out a big laugh. But that just goes to show how loose the band was. They were having fun again which was not really the case in the “Fare Thee Well” shows. They definitely did NOT seem to be enjoying themselves that much in those shows. But other than that little mistake and a few other small ones, the band as a whole hit all the marks. They played the songs like they haven’t been played in years. And they easily jammed from one song into another. And as for the few mistakes, well, the Dead have never been known as a tight band that didn’t make a lot of mistakes.

SO. All in all. I’d have to say that this is the best post Jerry Garcia version of the Dead I have ever heard.  And I hope they continue playing together in this configuration. And I think they will. When they came out to do an encore, John Mayer stepped up to the mike to say a few words, ending by saying….. We’ll see you again next year !!!!

After all that, I’d like to say, that just as I feel about all of the other fringe artists who join the Dead’s family, I hope John Mayer is sincere about playing with this band. He’s been saying all the right things in interviews, but he looked a bit silly wearing his blue bandana, headband for this show. I hope he’s not just looking at the Dead Heads as another audience to cash in on. I really hope that he plans on playing more great music with this band in the future !!!

 

 

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” The Legend Of Mary, Queen Of Scots” !

No This is NOT a history lesson. It’s not about THAT Mary. It’s more like history in the making !

It’s not like any post I have ever written before !

This is the “True Story” of a woman I met on an online dating site long ago and who has become my good friend, even though we have never actually met. It does not have anything to do with the older blog I wrote on “Internet Dating”. It’s totally different.

WHY ?

Because the woman who is the subject of this post actually REQUESTED that I write about her after reading my blog site.  She has FULL CONTROL over the FINAL EDIT of this post. This is her story the way she wants it told, as close as I can get to it. Of course with a little humor thrown in by myself. It’s actually more of an advertisement for her rather than a post meant to amuse my readers. Sort of a “Public Service Announcement” !

As I said, this is a true story. However the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Although I doubt the word “innocent” is used very often in reference to our star subject.

So.   Let’s meet our heroine !

I will call her “Mary” as it fits well with the title I had already picked out. As you will see, the title fits the story perfectly !

Now. If you were ever to meet Mary at her day job in Ohio, you would think she was just your average, run of the mill, Pharmacist, although more attractive than most. But I assure you there is nothing “AVERAGE” about her,

At night she becomes someone completely different. That’s right, Mary has a secret. She is a self proclaimed NYMPHOMANIAC ! She will tell you she is very proud  of the fact that she has been kicked off “OKCupid”, (our preferred dating site) no less than three times for nudity ! That’s right folks, the Mid West Bible Belt has a seedy side.

But that’s only part of her secret. She’s also what she likes to call a “Scotophile” !  That’s right boys and girls, Mary won’t sleep with just anyone. In order to get on her “A LIST” you have to look good in a kilt. Or eat Haggis and Black Pudding. And drink Dewar’s or Scottish Ale. But most importantly, you have to speak with a REAL Scottish accent. That accent is what will really make Mary melt in your mouth OR in your hands ! She once told me her motto is, “A Scot in her hand is worth two in her bush, or wherever else she feels fit to put you” ! Oh. And extra points if you are really good at playing the Bag Pipes !

And don’t worry ladies. Mary likes both the Lads AND the Lassies. Mary is an EQUAL OPPORTUNITY SEDUCER !

So. Why would she ask me to write this blog? Well it seems Mary needs my help. It seems this year’s crop of Scotsmen is a WEE BIT  thin. That’s right. Mary is having a bit of trouble keeping her “DOCKET” full, if you know what I mean !!! So she’s asking me to let all of you Scots out there know that she is looking for YOU ! So if you are a Scot, get on your computer or smart phone and open a profile on OKCupid. This is the dating site she uses to hunt down her prey.

But you must be a legit Scot . Mary can smell a fake Scot a mile away. And she might be willing to settle for anyone from Great Britain, as long as you ROCK THAT ACCENT !!! But don’t try to waste her time. She knows what she want’s and won’t settle for less. I once asked her if she might go for a Beer Drinking German wearing Lederhosen, but to my shagrin, she wasn’t buying it ! It’s got to be a Scot (or an Englishman in a pinch) or no one !

So once you are on OKCupid (OKC), don’t bother looking for her. Just use as many Scottish phrases or words that you can think of and Mary will find you. By using keyword searches and other tricks, she will sniff you out if you are indeed a real, authentic Scot . And if Mary does pick you out of the crowd, then THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS !!!!!

Now if this post works and helps Mary in her quest, I eagerly look forward to sitting around ye old internet camp fire with Mary, listening to her tell tales of her Scottish Conquests, such as all the Scots who have already flown across the pond or traveled from other places around the globe just to please my favorite Scotophile, Mary, Queen Of Scots !!!!!

As always, please feel free to leave a comment or two, specially YOU MARY. as I’m sure you will be checking this post out !!!

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“EMERGENCY ! EMERGENCY !”

Every night when I drive home from work I drive past the local hospital which is about a quarter of a mile from the interstate. Well. Like so many hospitals are doing these days, this hospital has put up a sign next to the interstate that has lit up numbers that are constantly updating that tell you how long a wait you would have to get into their emergency room at that particular moment. I have seen the times range anywhere from 2 minutes to 40 minutes.

I don’t understand the reasoning behind this new phenomenon !!!

What do they think we are going to do? Do they think a family might be riding by in their minivan and the father sees the sign and says…”WOW ! Only a 4 minute wait to get into the emergency room. We should take advantage of this as we may never see this when we have a real emergency. Here little Billy. Shove this pencil in your sister’s ear.” They then get off the interstate and drive over to the emergency room only to find that they are not the only family to think this way and now are in line behind 7 other minivans full of bloody children trying to park in the parking lot. By the time they get parked and rush into the emergency room waiting room, the wait is now suddenly up to over an hour and little Sally dies from her wounds. Not a pretty picture.

Or what if someone like myself has a real emergency, because I have taken Viagra and have an erection lasting more than 4 hours. So I rush down the interstate to go to the hospital and when I get to the sign it reads,  76 minute wait to get into our emergency room. What do I do? I know there is another hospital about 25 miles down the interstate. But I don’t know what their sign says. Do I get off here and wait behind all the families who’s children have pencils in their ears ? Or do I take a chance and drive on to the next hospital hoping that their sign only has maybe an 8 minute wait ???

What are these stupid signs good for ????

You can file this in with the “Things I Don’t GET”.

Please take some time to leave a comment if you don’t mind !!!

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“Bird Man”. A Movie Review !

I guess I should start by warning you that if you haven’t seen this movie yet, you might want to stop reading now, as I will be revealing certain parts of the movie’s plot.

Now this movie won both the “Best Picture” and “Best Director” Oscars at this years Academy Awards. I’m afraid that all this proves is that it was a bad year for movies! I’m not saying that I hated the movie, I’m just saying that it was average at best.

It’s the story of an aging actor (Michael Keaton) who was famous for playing a movie super hero trying to resurrect his career by Producing, Directing and Staring in a Broadway play. As the movie goes on you quickly realize that he is both in over his head AND that he is slowly going insane. He has problems with his ex-addict daughter who is his assistant (played by Emma Stone), his costar (played by Edward Norton) and his leading lady (played by Naomi Watts) who is also Norton’s love interest in the movie.

You might expect that with this cast that the acting would be top notch. Unfortunately except for a few scenes you would be mistaken. The problem with the film is the “gimmick ” that is probably the only thing that makes it interesting and that is that the entire movie appears to have been filmed in one long, continuous take. Whereas this is well done, I find it funny that the film did not win an award for “Best Editing” as this is probably the most impressive part of the movie. The problem with the “one take” aspect of the film is that it seems to have been filmed mostly with a hand held camera and most of the time with that camera almost right in the faces of the actors. Michael Keaton for most of the film seems very aware of the camera  being there. Also a lot of the acting seems over the top as if the actors were in a play rather than a movie or because they were trying to overcompensate for the camera being right in their faces.

I also have a problem with most Michael Keaton movies. Even though he can, at times, give very good performances, I still always feel like I’m watching Michael Keaton in a roll. He never completely separates himself from the part he is playing, if this makes any sense. I think this is why he will never win any acting awards. You can always see “HIM’ in his characters. I have the same problem with George Clooney !

Now back to the film.  As I said before, it’s really just the story of an actor going slowly insane and self destructing. But you can tell where it’s going from the beginning. You know it is going to end with him killing himself. Now the director tries to fool us by bringing Keaton’s character to the point where you think, “this is it. He’s going to kill himself now”, only to stop short of his death to drag the film on to another almost death.

Then there is the final scene which is really stupid. You don’t see him jump out the window (although you know he has jumped), and then his daughter comes into the room, looks out of the window, down at the ground and then up at a flock of birds in the sky and smiles. This really didn’t work for me at all. Another movie with a cop out ending !!!!

Now. If you are interested in seeing a very well acted movie about an actor going slowly mad, I suggest you try to find a movie called “I Love Your Work” starring Giovanni Rabisi giving an excellent performance. Now this is not a GREAT film, it is much more well done and better acted than “Bird Man”. I must also say that it is much darker than “Bird Man” which was another problem I had with “Bird Man”. They tried not to make it too dark !!!!

That’s all I’ve got.  Let me know what you thought of the movie and this review !!!!

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“The Meaning Of Life” !!!!!

The debate has been going on FOREVER.                                                                                        No one has been able to come up with the definitive answer.                                                     Why are we here?                                                                                                                                   What is our purpose ?                                                                                                                           What is “THE MEANING OF LIFE” ? Sorry ! It’s not all that complicated !!!!! Here is the knowledge you have all been searching for, your whole, entire, pathetic lives !!! All living creatures were created with the express purpose of ANNOYING ME !!!!                            While I, on the other hand, was created to be ANNOYED BY YOU !!!!!                                      Therefore the meaning of life is just A CRUEL JOKE !!!                                                            It’s that simple! Don’t be offended or take it personal, that’s just the way it is.                    Oh! there is one other meaning of life and that is to have as much SEX as possible !!!!!     So!  There you have it !!! Any comments ???? Coming soon……My thoughts on time travel, space travel and have we been visited by aliens from other worlds !!!!!!

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